Haz Plays Some Skyrim | #BringMingusBack | #Mingus

2021-08-15

Tags: ""

i'll do win

what's going on

we're gonna have a cozy little thing

hey the graphics are pretty good

honestly awake

they're not bad trying to cross the

border right

walk right into that imperial ambush

same as us and that thief over there

oh stormcloaks skyrim was fine until you

came along empire was nice and lazy

but they hadn't been looking for you

stolen that horse had been halfway to

hammerfell

you there you and me we shouldn't be

here it's the stormcloaks the empire

wants

we're all brothers and sisters in vines

now

shut up back there

what's wrong with him huh

watch your tongue you're speaking to

ulfric stormcloak the true high

where are they taking us

i don't know where we're going but

sovengaard awaits

no this can't be happening this isn't

happening

hey

what village are you from or steve

what do you care

a nord's last thoughts

should be

rorickstead i'm

i'm from roarkstead

general talia sir the headsman is

waiting

good let's get this over with

sure tomorrow this is the worst intro of

any game of all time the vines please

help me

go faster man

this takes longer than president

sunday's intros

and it looks like the dalmore are with

him

damn elves i bet they had something to

do with this

no i'm doing vanilla skyrim no mods i'm

not doing any mods just vanilla skyrim

as they intended for me to play

as bethesda wanted me to play

imperial walls

why are we stopping

why do you think

end of the line

let's go

shouldn't keep the gods waiting for us

no wait we're not rebels

face your death for some courage

you've got to tell them we weren't with

you this is a mistake

when we call your name one at a time

empire loves their damn lists

[ __ ] you [ __ ]

y'all love windhelm

it has been an honor

yara lofrick

rail off of riverwood

all right there's i'm not going to do

any hacks but i am going to do exploits

to become like a god

someone teach me the exploits

like just just [ __ ]

there's a lot of glitches and [ __ ] and i

want to do that i want to do the

glitches to make me like opie as [ __ ]

anyone else feel like running

wait

you there step forward

who are you

yeah i feel like this one is most like

mine right no it's not

this one

this one this one's the most like mine

right

now

i feel like this is me

that's that's me

that's me

i got yeah one-eyed

yeah this is me

eye shadow

people say i wear eyeshadow

[Music]

people try to say i wear eyeshadow so i

guess i have to add it

okay brows

eyebrows want more bushy eyebrows

there you go

mouth i don't want to deal with that

hair finally

facial hair we gotta you know we're

doing you know you know what this is you

know what this is

hair

i feel like this is good

you're a long way from the imperial city

what are you doing in skyrim

captain what should we do he's not on

the list

forget the list he goes to the block

by your orders captain

i'm sorry

but make sure you're the main sort of

time to serve

follow the captain prison am i playing

as an imperial because what else would i

be dude i'm either gonna be a red guard

or an imperial and i'm not african so

i'm an imperial

one of those two is the only thing that

makes sense

what would i be a breton i'm not french

would i be a nord i'm not from

scandinavia

the only option is a mediterranean

or north african

but i'm not african

get the [ __ ] out of my chat you [ __ ]

weirdo all you khajiits and argonians

you [ __ ] ruin the game like i don't

know if you needed to get the [ __ ]

hint this is supposed to be a medieval

fantasy game

it's not [ __ ] you're not supposed to

have a tail okay that's just like an

option they give you you're not actually

supposed to do it

this is a [ __ ]

game of thrones why the [ __ ] would you

be a [ __ ] lizard or a [ __ ]

cat furry you [ __ ] weirdo

like those are supposed to be characters

in you're not actually supposed to be

those dude that's like a it's like a

gimmick you're not actually supposed to

be that you literally ruin the game for

yourself by being a [ __ ] argonian or

some [ __ ] you all you do is ruin the

game for yourself

like congrats you played yourself

justice

death to the stormcloaks

as fearless in death

as it was in life

is there no [ __ ] um

screen tearing

here it is again did you hear that

i said next prisoner to the block

prisoner nice and easy

[ __ ] khajiits are the worst dude

oh no

let me out i want to get up and run

around and [ __ ] man i hate this part i

[ __ ] hate this [ __ ] man

it takes so long

argonians are not vietnamese

[ __ ]

please get out of my way

it's gonna speed run

isn't there a way to glitch this no

it go dude you're doing great

[ __ ] out of my way

is there like there's a glitch to like

skip all this isn't there how do i do

the glitch

let me out

where do i go

where do i go ahead for

go here

out of my way

you're not

uh storm cloaks no it's just imperials

then betray them later

looks like we're the only ones

was that really a dragon cut me loose

you [ __ ]

we should keep moving come here let me

see if i can get those bindings off

there you go take a look around there

should be plenty of gail to choose from

i'm going to see

i can find

i get that armor give that sword if you

swing

let's keep moving that thing is still

out

open up

let me add him

yeah

now we're talking

[ __ ]

yeah

oh yeah

that's taking that part

let me see if i can get that door open

this is my weapon

[Applause]

this game's so unrealistic

this way

over here

i like the axe

i want the x

their comrades

get the [ __ ] out of here

where in oblivion are we supposed to go

where's the way out

all ganging up on me

[ __ ]

robin hood bow and arrow [ __ ]

out of my way

i hate choice

i [ __ ] hate spiders so much die

die

die die

[Applause]

[ __ ] vegans

vegans

[ __ ] you

stamina

who ended

who when

yeah

[ __ ]

[ __ ] out of here

i'm eating it raw

[ __ ] is this

i'm a barbarian

[Music]

vegans

[Music]

begins

bring me all

[Music]

here alive

at all this [ __ ]

yeah

[Music]

gotta get the [ __ ] out of here now

one last job

you

the [ __ ] out of my face

nothing

feminism was never invented yet

i survived the vegan attacks

i pillaged the vic

get the [ __ ] back over here

yes

okay yeah

i think it's a joke

he gets a joke

[ __ ] is this

meat eater in a vegan kingdom

no i will never be vegan

they're gone

oh look at this

[Music]

[ __ ] is this

are you vegan

carlos guide you

no vegans

we have to go [ __ ] on the yarl's [ __ ]

we're gonna go we're gonna go take a

[ __ ] on the yarrows dinner table

oh yeah

i'm gonna shut

up his ass

hacking me

landed

yes

barbarian

bring over everything

[Music]

this

arms

look at those people they need my help

they're fighting a giant

there's a bigger enemy afoot

fine i'll kill the giant

oh [ __ ]

[Music]

if you know any true sons and daughters

of skyrim tell them to head to windhelm

that's

[Music]

oh can stop me now

just

evil

my mission will be completed

avoid the giant

it's of no use

and a guard

a [ __ ]

[ __ ]

spot

it's

yes

online

animals have no consciousness

[Music]

no consciousness

thought i heard

take me to jail

i'll go to jail fine

turn myself in

i can infiltrate your walls

fine

i yield

by the way

stop right there

take me

oh guards

guards

you don't know who you just let inside

your city

[Music]

i lost nothing from my murders

nothing

oh hi guards

[Music]

i spy with my little eye

being devoid of consciousness are you

married which is not that transition to

the fore itself it is only in itself

oh yes

yes

i'll go to jail

how many more animals will i kill until

i learn my lesson though i have no

consequences

no repercussions

zero consequences

for my actions

i have taken

so many animal lives

it's nothing

nothing

what is it

right fruit and fresh vegetables for

sale

i'm just looking for a little chicken

got some good pieces out here

yes actually how about you smith me an

iron dagger here's everything you need

to make one

when i make weapons which i'll use to

kill more animals

that's what you don't understand

i don't claim to be the best blacks not

bad but it's a little dull how about you

sharpen it up just need a bit of metal

and the grinder

have you met my father i helped my

father this looks good you want to keep

helping how about you make some armor

let's start

tanning some leather on the rack

you

out ah good let's see if you can make a

hide helmet here's the rest of what you

need

yes

i should hire let's improve the fit take

this leather to the workbench over there

yes

need something you have tap why don't

you keep that

yeah

maybe you will remember me when you're

making sky forged steel huh

i'm waiting not a dog or a cat in there

let's

take them got some good pieces out here

remember my face

am the bang of animals

need something

the [ __ ] out of my way watch it get

[ __ ] out of my way

i work

heading is

hey watch it

ain't nobody high and mighty

[Music]

and i'm gonna do it right again

i'm gonna do it again

what do you need

but they can take it away i'm going to

eat all of it

by the way

they say alfred stormcloak murdered the

high king

with his voice

shouted him apart what's the meaning of

this and well that explains why the god

has let you in

come on then the y'all will want to say

no you're a talking

you saw this dragon with your own eyes

next time deal with avenichi

dear santa claus

all i want this christmas

is the death of every animal

guys

so you retalin

but it's none of my concern who the

imperials want to execute

i should have guessed ulfric would be

mixed up in this

what do you say now prevent us

shall we continue to trust in the

strength of our walls

against the dragon okay my lord we

should send troops to riverwood at once

it's in the most immediate danger if

that dragon is lurking in the mountains

that is a provocation he'll assume we're

preparing to join ulfric's side and

attack you

we should not

i'll not stand idly

while a dragon burns my hold and

slaughters my people

irilat send the detachment to riverwood

at once

yes

if you'll excuse me

account created august 12th

bye [ __ ]

try again next time

return to my duties

well done here

take this as a small token of my esteem

there is another cop let's go find

oh thank you

thank you

for this armor

court wizard so great

how do i look like this you guys look

how look how weird i like run

is this weird

like look i'll show you

look at that

now i look normal see this is normal and

then look look what happens look at this

glitch it's so weird i look normal now

i'm not a man i'm a weapon in human form

just unsheath me and point me at the

enemy

when i say fetch straight to the i uh go

to bleak falls bearer find this tablet

surprise

am the url

i serve yaral balgruff as stewart

my brother

takes counsel from provences

this [ __ ] out of here

you